Morning Ireland, Dunphy and heebie jeebies

On Morning Ireland on Monday (27 March) Cathal MacCiolla introduced the presenter of the “What it says in the pape...rs” slot as “Caroline”. Caroline who? It is a regular feature of the programme, presenters introducing each other by their first names, as though they are all national celebrities, household names. The conceit is irritating, very irritating.
As it happens the Caroline was Caroline Murphy who is one of the best on the papers slot. Brisk, to the point, funny, as she was on Monday. But this Caroline stuff. Aaaagh.
That kind of conceit is a regular feature of radio. Interviewers asking interviewees to “tell me” whatever. Others talking about themselves or intruding themselves. Does nobody tell them they are mere journey men and women, doing a job for the public, who couldn't care less who they are?
Morning Ireland is by far the most important radio platform, maybe the most important national platform. It sets the day's news agenda. Anybody who wants to address the nation wants to do so on Morning Ireland – Michael McDowell did his half apology to Richard Bruton on Morning Ireland the day after he bared his teeth outside the Dáil.
There is much else about Morning Ireland that is irritating, chief among them being the frequency with which presenters tell their guest to hurry up because time is running out, this after a minute of two into the interview. If the item is worth doing (which very often it isn't) then why not give it the time?
AA Roadwatch gives me the heebie jeebies as well. How it is that a brazen lobby group for the motor industry is given free air time on our national broadcasting service to get the customers of the motor industry to their destinations as swiftly as the roads allow? Anytime I am caught in traffic, as I bring the brats to school, there is never any mention of my traffic jam. But why no regular detailed information on how public transport is faring, how the busses are running and the trains – yes AA Roadwatch sometimes mention that, but only sometimes. The slot is a straight plug for a corporate vested interest.
Over on Eamon Dunphy's morning show on Monday he was interviewing Dan McLoughlin of some bank and Colm Rapple the one man personal finance adviser. I like Dunphy, partly because the Senor de la Casa goes mental at the mention of his name (something to do with someone called Platini – who cares?). I like his capacity to make such a tit of himself and get away with it.
But as an interviewer? Isn't there something about asking open questions, rather than closed questions? Questions that encourage the interviewee to talk, rather than answer monosyllabically? Like don't ask questions such as “don't you think we are creating a fake society, with donkeys in power”? To which the answer should be yes or no. Or the portentous: “Could I put it to you”, self regarding bullshite. Aren't there people in Newstalk to say nicely to Dunphy perhaps he should take a course somewhere in interviewing? Or maybe listen to Sean O'Rourke on The News at One and replicate what he does? Also, please Eamon, you are a lovely fellow, but you are no intellectual genius, so please don't get in over your head on the intellectual stakes?
For that is precisely what he did on Monday with Dan McLoughlin who was talking about prospects for economic growth. There is/was an argument to be made on that but poor Eamon didn't know it or couldn't argue it and Dan McLoughlin was able to bat him away effortlessly (one such argument has to do with the likes of me – in writing this radio column I contribute to the gross national income, in spending 14 hours a day looking after the brats and preparing the house for the triumphal return of the Senor de la Casa I contribute nothing, although if there were a Pilipino handmaiden here to do the same work she would be counted in the national accounts). Anyway, that Dan McLoughlin interview was reminiscent of that excruciating exchange with Noam Chomsky some weeks ago.
Colm Rapple uttered a cliché that sends me rushing to the dial to change stations: “worked all the hours God sends”. Aaaagh. Aaaagh again. More heebie jeebies.