Don't fence me in
Rich, thin royals wandering the earth, sheep trying to find their way in life, the Irish homeless in London and Gaelic stew were all part of Dermot Bolger's TV week
Since the age of the Enlightenment, philosophical debate has raged as to what exactly is the purpose – if any – of the monarchy. If at one time it was based on the divine right to rule, now it seems to have come down to royalty being a divine subject for voyeuristic television costume (or lack of costume) drama. Indeed the British Royal Family – or offshoots or franchised branches of same – pop up so frequently on television that it can be confusing to keep track of who is who. However, as a general rule of thumb for viewers who may be hard of hearing, the Queen is the one who doesn't get (so far, at least) to take her clothes off.
Having recently done Princess Margaret (or, to be more precise, watched Princess Margaret "do" half the eligible aristocrats in London in the mistaken belief that anyone without at least two country seats was rough trade), television stepped back in time and tone this week in Wallis and Edward, (UTV, Sunday, 9pm), a love story where the characters had far better dress sense but far less appeal than Wallace and Gromit.
If Princess Margaret was the houseguest from hell, at least she did have a home to go back to. Wallis and Edward rather drifted for decades across Europe, growing more tired, more bored and more tedious. UTV stepped back in time in this very old-fashioned fictionalised account of their relationship, which was quaintly respectful and sympathetic towards its subject matter, building it into a romantic drama. Wallace and Gromit will live forever – Wallis Simpson however is mainly remembered for remarking that nobody could ever be too thin or too rich, which makes it ironic that a version of her life should have so much artificial sweeter. But one suspects that Wallis never did quite understand the English and the English never understood her.
When any television commentator announces in hushed tones: "we are here on the edge of our seats, this is so nerve-wracking", you just know that it's that time of year again when you are watching the finals of One Man and His Dog (BBC 2, Saturday, 3.50pm). As very few people know how much fun it is to corral startled sheep into a tiny pen – and as very few of the people who do know this are willing to talk about it – this venerable television relic should have an honoured place on any schedule. Watching it is bizarrely hypnotic and it has the great advantage of not being the annually televised Highland Games (some of the activities of which, involving grown men and tree trunks, would need a team of psychologists to explain). Long may it continue, not least for being the only time in the year when anyone (human or canine) can be publicly praised on television for "being well able to stand up to a stubborn sheep". For the record, Scotland beat Ireland thanks to a particularly sly sheep. The director's name was Andy Reid, which may explain why the Irish midfield never appears for Spurs at present.
Herding sheep is about the only strange activity that a range of characters don't get up to in Stew (RTÉ2, Monday, 10pm), the Irish comedy sketch show now in its second series and featuring some of our best comic talent, including Paul Woodfull, Paul Tylak, Tara Flynn and Daragh Kelly. Any such scatter-shooting show is bound to have a certain hit and miss comic ratio depending on the taste of the viewer, but for this reviewer the material was innovative and the hits far outweighed the misses. Patrick McDonnell was particularly funny as a fanatical Irish language enthusiast straight out of Hugo Hamilton's Speckled People.
Homelessness is no laughing matter and Cogar: Idir Dhá Shaol (TG4, Sunday, 9.30pm) looked at homelessness among the Irish on the streets of London through the story of Willie Walsh, who arrived in London at the age of 16 and found himself living on the streets as an alcoholic. He was saved by the Cricklewood Homeless Concern project, for which he now works, helping people going through similar experiences to his own. At this time of year, it made for sobering television, as did Would You Believe (RTÉ 1, Sunday, 10.30pm) which focused on the work of Sister Angela Burke whose extraordinary centre, Rendu, in the centre of Dublin allows homeless people to find a stepping stone towards finding a place of their own again, by providing apartments where for a time they can live independent but supported lives. After last week's sadly adolescent Anonymous, it showed what nuns actually do for a living.
Dermot Bolger's latest novel is The Family on Paradise Pier.