TROUBLES CROWD in on the decrepit Gorbachev regime in the USSR. Hooliganism, alcoholism, petty theft and joy riding in official cars are widespread as the working class expresses its discontent with its corrupt state-capitalist rules. A .thoroughgoing revolution which will sweep this collection of vodka-soaked gangsters into oblivion is, of course, the only ultimate answer. In the meantime, Ulick O'Connor and the National Union of Jourrnalists will do their best.

TROUBLES CROWD in on the decrepit Gorbachev regime in the USSR. Hooliganism, alcoholism, petty theft and joy riding in official cars are widespread as the working class expresses its discontent with its corrupt state-capitalist rules. A .thoroughgoing revolution which will sweep this collection of vodka-soaked gangsters into oblivion is, of course, the only ultimate answer. In the meantime, Ulick O'Connor and the National Union of Jourrnalists will do their best.

Notes for Canvassers: Local Elections, 1985.

When canvassing votes from the citiizens (or "gooks", as we professionals have come to know them) you will notice that they come in three types:

Gene Kerrigan observes the democratic process at work

The Honourable Michael 0 'Halloran Lord Mayor of the City of Dublin, was humming "Come Fly With Me".

The fact of an incursion by British troops at Hackballscross and the vandalism which resulted in the closing off of the water supply to Dundalk are of significance. Of even more significance is the manner in which the government ignored the evidence of local people, immediately accepted the British version of events and issued a statement which is contradicted by garda reports. By Fergal Keane

In February of last year, a party was held at the Folk Park near Bunratty Castle in County Clare. 'Over sixty people attended. When the party was over, there were less than a dozen people left behind and the function manaager, Patrick Nugent, was dead. There is evidence to suggest that a car acciident may have had something to do with his death. But nobody there on that night admitted to seeing what happened. William Ryan was afterwards charged with manslaughter. Last month, he was acquitted on all counts.  By Derek Dunne

WHOOPS, HOLLERS and rousing choruses of "The Boys of the Old Brigade" heard in the vicinity of Downey's Pub in Ballyfermot last Monday week did not, after all, emanate from local Sinn Feiners celebrating the party's showing in the North's local elections. The cause of the Republican joy was much closer to home.

Derek Dunne examines the performance of the Special Criminal Court

Thirteen years ago this month the then Fianna Fail government issued a proclamation that "the orrdinary courts were inadequate to secure the effective administration of justice and the preservation of the public peace and order."

Often called "the most exclusive club of the Western establishment", the Bilderberg Group is a mixed collection of some of the world's most powerful financiers, industrialists, statesmen and intellectuals, who get together each year for a private conference on world affairs. The meetings provide an inforrmal, off-the-record opportunity for innternational leaders to mingle, and are notorious for the cloak of secrecy they are held under.

PLEASANT TO note that the recently-declared support of odd-soxed sex-symbol Henry Mountcharles for an O'Malley-led mould-breaking SDP-type party has not prevented the Lord of Slane making generous, ecumenical gestures to ra-ra members of CJH's inner circle.