As Time goes By - Nov 10, 1983
There now follows a party political broadcast on behalf of ...
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· .. and here on Channel 4 we continue with Part 12 of our series on the history of the social significance of braces ...
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· .. my name is Benny Hill and I'd just like to say, "Knickers!". (Explosion of laughter from studio audience, foundations shake, ceiling 'collapses
... )
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· .. since the vicar put his hand on her blankety blank ...
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· . . that'll make that goshdarned bushwhackin ' sonovabitch Cliff Barnes think again, yessirreebob. And Ah'm shore, Gawd willin ', that once them bruises clear up Sue Ellen will be almost as good as new ...
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· .. atement from President Reagan in which he said, "That'll make them goshdarned bushwhacking commie sonsabitches think again, yessirree. And I'm sure that once the fallout disperses Mexico will be almost as good as ... "
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· . . to tell you tonight of the imporrtant, even crucial, issues facing our people. The by-election in Dublin Central can, I believe, be a turning point or even - dare I say - a waterrshed in the fortunes of this historic and proud nation.
We all know, of course, don't we, that we are living through troubled times. Drugs, crime, poverty, unemmployment and things like that.
The question we must all ask ourrselves is how best we can - all of us - overcome our problems and go forward - together - to a bright new future. And how can we do that? Well, you can make a start by ensuring that our candidate is elected to Dail Eireann on November 23. (Cut to candidate, who wears the Bunny Carr expression No. 3 - "concerned sinncerity".)
Candidate: Good evening. I am standding in this by-election because I want to give you - the voters - a chance to express your trust in the future. As I go from door to door I find that people - ordinary people like yourrselves - are worried about the future. "What about the future?", you ask.
And let me be the first to say that you are right. You are right to worry about the future - for who amongst us knows what it will bring? Which is why I want to join my colleagues in Dail Eireann so that when the future comes we can have The Best Team to tackle it.
Now, (changes expression to Bunny Carr No. 19 - "tolerance of sceptiicism", a difficult one which is masstered by turning the head four degrees to the right and raising one eyebrow) I'm sure there are some of you who are saying, "That's all very well, but what about policies?" Well, I want to put your mind at rest. Yes, we have policies.
And I know that on November 23 you will help me to help Our Great Party to help you make those policies viable and meaningful.
(Cut to film: shot of GPO in 1916, burnt out. The voiceover is by the actor who does the liver fluke ad.) Voice: Our Great Party has a proud tradition behind it. Whenever Ireland called we were there - our only aim being To Serve The People.
(Cut to a series of shots, very rapid cuts, no shot lasting more than two seconds. Music rises - the theme from 2001 played on melodeon and bodhran.
Cut to - waves crashing on beach plane taking off -
party leader and candidate shaking hands with voters -
boat being launched -
tractor ploughing field -
party leader laughing -
goal being scored by Dublin at AlllIreland final -
party leader wearing Bunny Carr expression No.3 -
nurse placing bowl of flowers at beddside, patient smiles -
candidate shaking hands with a nun ˜lollipop man helping kids across roaddfield of wheat, gently waving -
oil rig at sunset -
gorgeous little five-year-old girl kissing a flower-
freeze frame on candidate as music builds to a climax -
cut to party leader in studio.)
Party leader: I come before you tonight to ask for a mandate for our caring, imaginative and sincere sincerity.
What about unemployment? Well, I can tell you - unequivocally - that we are firmly against it.
Housing? Yes, we are in favour of housing. Strongly in favour.
Poverty? Well, we believe in a pluraalist society. A place for everyone °Protestant and Catholic, men and women, rich and poor. And we will make sure that the poor keep their place.
Education? Yes, we in This Great Party Of Ours are very well educated.
I am asking for your trust on November 23. Together we can examine every option, explore every avenue, climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow, till we find our dream ...
(click) ... stop the lights ...