Dailwatch: The Grand Duke missed the funny bits

At the Kildare Street gate there were four Public Gallery tickets waiting for Liam Skelly's supporters padmitting thirty supporters per ticket. The new Fine Gael TD was going to get a warm reception. Supporters and TDs enveloped Skelly as he arrived. Garret FitzGerald shook his hand near the front gate while the cameras clickked, and again on the steps and again near the door, while the cameras clickked again. "Lift him shoulder high," Jim Mitchell told a supporter, and it was done. The cameras clicked.

When Skelly reached the top of the main staircase, just outside the Dail chamber, he stopped and looked around at FitzGerald and Mitchell and Sean Barrett and Paddy Cooney. And the new TD did something that politicians are loath to do - he addmitted ignorance of his function.

"What do I do?", he asked quietly. Not much, Liam. Not much.

That was the afternoon that Charlie Haughey put his foot in it. Jim Mitchell demanded to know what happened the legislation which he had drawn up as Minister for Justice. Fianna Fail had said during the general election campaign that they would introduce legislation within weeks.

Mitchell pursued his point and Hauughey, annoyed, rapped back that Mitchell's "personal activities" had been detrimental to law and order while he was Minister for Justice.

Haughey had been the soul of tolerance a few minutes earlier, when Skelly was introduced to the Dail and got a standing ovation from Fine Gael. Haughey led Fianna Fail in applause and his smile was that of a talented forward who had just seen a tricky shot saved by a talented opposing goalie - appreciative and even admirring. Now, by his ill-tempered vilificaation of Mitchell, he had blown it.

After a few Fine Gael shouts of Shame! the row was diverted. Barry Desmond wanted to know how Haugghey could square his love for law and order with the fact that some of his ministers had been making "appearrances on pirate radio." (Albert Reyynolds and Michael Woods recently made tapes for Radio Nova, for a charitable cause. Haughey himself gave an interview to a pirate radio station during the 1981 election cammpaign.) Haughey refused to answer the question. He smiled and said, "I don't know how anyone can appear on radio," and sat down.

A few minutes later a furious Jim Mitchell threatened that, having been Minister for Justice, he would have plenty to say about Haughey and the gardai, and about his friend Pat O'Connnor.

Haughey began backing down. What he had said was that Mitchell, while Minister, had not in any way combattted ...

No, chorused Fine Gael, that's not what you said.

The Ceann Comhairle, John O'Connnell, was asked if Mitchell would have the right to reply. O'Connell didn't seem sure. The Dail clerk leaned back and whispered to him. O'Connell then said that Mitchell could give a personal explanation. Mitchell had nothing to explain, shouted Fine Gael. The Taoiiseach should substantiate the personal charges or withdraw them.

O'Connell finally haltingly, agreed that making such personal remarks was "wrong." Haughey replied that if the Ceann Comhairle took exception to the remark it would be withdrawn.

The squalid exchange concealed more than it revealed. Haughey and Mitchell had each hinted at knavery performed by the other. Neither appaarently felt any duty to substantiate their innuendos before parliament.

Sixty-one of the Dail's 166 TDs were present at this point and the atttendance . had been around this figure for Question Time, Skelly's entrance and the row between Haughey and Mitchell - all entertaining stuff. At seven minutes to four the Dail moved on to discuss the Litter Bill. It was like a bomb scare. The chamber cleared in little more than thirty seconds, leavving just Peter Barry and Gerard Brady facing each other across the carpet. After a few minutes Ruairi Quinn came in and sat on the Labour benches.

Paddy Cooney was rocking back and forward on his heels and toes and making a dull speech. "l think The House should be told," he said, "what are the rationalisation measures being proposed." If anybody had bothered telling The House about the measures The House wouldn't have heard. At this point, noon, only Coonney, John Wilson and Joe Sherlock were present.

There had been a respectable turnnout when the session began at 10.30 am. There was a possibility that the row between Haughey and Mitchell would be continued from the previous day. But Haughey was off squiring the Grand Duke of Luxembourg, who was over on a state visit. The TDs drifted out.

After the lunch break things picked up. Brian Lenihan had a row with Jim O'Keeffe. There were 38 TDs in the chamber for Question Time, which usually draws a respectable audience. There were 810 questions on the order paper. In the course of an hour the TDs would get through seven of them.

The big problem was Question 1, in which Jim O'Keetfe wanted Haughey to give the cost of the commitments made by the government during. th,e Dublin West by-election. Haughey was still off with the Grand Duke, Brian. Lenihan stood in. And Lenihan had no

. intention of answering the question.

It was a lazy question,he said. O'Keeffe should have itemised the projects on which he wanted costings. It soon beecame clear that Lenihan had found a formula by which he could evade the question, but that didn't stop the fun. Insults were thrown, smiles were tradded. O'Keeffe said that Lenihan should be ashamed ...

"He's not ashamed," roared John Kelly, "he's shameless!", and rocked back in his seat, shaking with laughter.

"What we, have here is a gaggle of giggles," taunted Lenihan.

Ivan Yates, the Dail's youngest TD, tried for fifteen minutes to raise a point of order. When he got a chance he was serious and logical. "That's a separate question," dismissed Brian Lenihan. And John Kelly was back on his feet with another bon mot and Yates sat down.

Ruairi Quinn said the TDs should "strip away the fun, this is most serrious, most real ... we're not playactting anymore." He wanted the Ceann Comhairle to investigate a claim that a government minister had brought representatives of a contracting firm onto the site of a ring road in Dublin West - when no contract had been signed - in order to gain political kudos. This, said Quinn, was a "potenntially corruptive measure." The Ceann Comhairle said he could do nothing. "It happened outside The House."

Frank Cluskey rose and said that this behaviour was endangering parliaamentary democracy, it was responsible for disillusioning young people. "Do you not feel any responsibility ...

"I feel responsible," cracked Leniihan, "for the Labour Party's low vote ... "

By 3.25, when Gerard Brady was answering questions on planning, there were ten TDs in the chamber. Seven FG, two Labour, one FF. Question Time was almost over. A few minutes later the Grand Duke came in with his entourage and a few Fianna Fail TDs came in and sat down for a while.

Myra Barry was speaking on the National Community Development Agency Bill. The Grand Duke seemed impressed.