Boy's talk

 Welcome to Ryan's world – a world which is self absorbed, a place where the main occupant likes listen...ing to his own drone, where most news items can be brought down to either a sexual connotation or sexist comments. A world where if you can bear to sift through the blather, some interesting stories are told.
It's a long three hours, five days a week and it's mostly filled with Ryan's voice. Deep, condescending, at times idiotic, yet managing to talk to the 400,000 people who think enough of him to turn him on and not turn him off each weekday morning.
“Fair play to him”, in reference to a man who has done “fantastic, sterling work with a future ahead of him”, is his take on Father ‘Mossy' Dillane, the 73 year old priest who had fathered a child with Madonna in his own parish. “Go on let him be, let him have a loving relationship,” Ryan preaches to us all.
“Was I any good at it?” was Ryan's assumption of what Colin Farrell thought when a pretty hardcore video of him having sex with Nicole Narain was published on the internet. And – sure isn't that what any “young blooded man or woman would be doing”.
When talking to reporter Robert Kelly in Moscow, the listener was acclimatised to the story about sub-zero temperatures by being told that Moscow was experiencing “willie shrinking weather at minus 20º”, while amazingly “strapping men in tutus were jumping into freezing water”.  
All these sexual innuendos led into a feature on DIY courses, which provided the opportunity for every possible cliché, sexual pun, sexist comment imaginable. “Tool parties”, “screws”, “leather DIY” men, “how to unblock the toilet when you're boyfriend has been over after a night of curry” – all became part of the discussion as Ryan seemed amazed that 70 per cent of the people who do these courses are women. He wanted to know what proportion of these women were single (does it matter?) and why would they want to learn DIY (what world does he live on)? Ryan – to quote himself – was “completely incredulous”, he doesn't “know anyone like that”. He knows women, (his good wife included) who are good at design, can project manage building work, have a flair for architecture, but none who could do anything useful around the house. Cormac Battle, the patient DIY trainer, and the woman who had attended the course, advised Ryan that some women now own their own houses and would like to be able to fix things themselves.
Amidst the bravado and the monotone, Ryan tackles real issues.
He talks to John O'Shea of GOAL about why the Irish Government should stop directly funding the Ethiopian government, as they are corrupt and were involved in the deaths of over 70 people since the recent elections. Instead, the money should go straight to organisations working on the ground.
He talks to Alison, a young mother suffering from cystic fibrosis who needs a lung transplant. He makes her feel at ease, talks simply and advises the listeners that all they need to do is to tick the box on their driver's licence or fill in an organ donor card and tell their next of kin, so that in case they die suddenly, their organs will be made available to people like Alison.
He gives parenting advice that sounds sensible enough even to people who aren't parents. This weekend, ask your children if they have ever gone on those bullying websites, try and find out if your child is a victim or a perpetrator of bullying, check which websites they use.
He challenges the listeners to call and show evidence of an Irish worker who lost his or her job to a migrant worker. He questions whether the 78 per cent of the population who want the introduction of work permits are right.
He suggests that the Health Services Executive should stop counting people on trolleys and start getting them off them.
He talks about Eamon Casey's return to Ireland – he'd have no problem with him coming home, if and when the allegation issue is resolved.
But, is there really a need to sign off on Friday noon with the wise crack? Well girls “if you are screwing this weekend, screw safe.” Or to start Monday morning with chat about Kerry Katona's D&G g-string riding high and asking us to ring with ideas on how to keep her knickers in her pants. Why not have more of chat and less of the foreplay?
Welcome to Ray's world – it's younger, more upbeat, more easy listening. There is less chat, more music, more listerners' comments and quizzes. Monday morning started with Ray D'Arcy talking listeners through healthy porridge-making. Tuesday started with humilty when he admitted that he had had a sleepless night as he was about to face Enda Kenny, having previously described him as “about as charismatic as ... you know when you boil potatoes and you leave them in the fridge for about four days and they have that sort of anaemic, sort of insipid look about them?”
While clearly specifying this is not a political radio show, D'Arcy talks with ease to Kenny, recognising what perhaps the opposition has not – that in order to woo the electorate, they (the opposition) need to come up with a big idea. Ray D'Arcy may not have too many big ideas, but he's doing a lot right and is deservingly attracting listeners from his counterpart on Radio 2.